Be Okay with Not Being Okay

Be Okay with Not Being Okay


By: Minister Kesha Williams, MS


You’ve heard the statement, “I don’t look like what I have been through.” I am certain that many of us have experienced tumultuous storms, moments of loss, and oppression that have shifted our lives and thought processes into a direction that we would have never imagined.

We have grown accustomed to masking our problems. Culturally, we have become insensitive to other people’s thoughts and feelings. Within the workplace, our families, and communities, we can see people hurting and disregard their need for support. A kind word and gesture can go a long way to an individual who is fighting internal wars within.

There were periods in my own life, where I saw darkness all around, and struggled with bouts of depression. I discovered that a route to my joy was to make peace with my past. I can honestly say, there were times when I was incredibly depressed, but I did not wear it. No one knew what my internal thoughts were, or the fight that it would take for me to just open my eyes, after waking up to a new day. It was the most difficult period in my life.

I must encourage you, do not bury your feelings. Confront your emotions. When you find yourself in a place of hopelessness, confront your emotions. Do not allow your emotions to lead you. Don’t let your emotions control your life, relationships, or how you respond. Take moments to reflect. Think about how the circumstance, whether it is self-inflicted or caused by someone else, is designed to strengthen and reshape your life in a positive way.

How do we get from a place of darkness to a place of light and love? We must start by spending quality time with love. How can we receive love if we do not interact with it? Finding ways to love ourselves out of pain and misery, helps us to overcome the inner turmoil. Love heals, love fulfills, love is unconditional, and love is accessible to each of us. No matter how dark your thoughts, how difficult life’s challenges are, love is waiting for you to give it back to yourself.

If you have found yourself struggling emotionally and mentally do not disregard your thoughts and feelings.

How mental and emotional health affect our visibility

It is hard to see in a dark place. It’s hard to love, when you are in a dark place. It is hard to navigate through life when you are in a dark place. Whether you are recovering from the loss of a relationship, the death of a spouse/child/or loved one, work through your pain. In life we will face challenges that can affect our mental and emotional health. It is important to secure our lives by working through our pain. I can relate to living in a dark space where living was painful. Despite my talents, abilities, and achievements, I could not see how bright my life was, because the darkness that was clouding my vision. It wasn’t until I began therapy that I began to release my thoughts and emotions. I stopped burying my true feelings, I confronted them in the most positive and gentle way. I accepted my life and the experiences that I had. I began to help others and discovered the light at the end of the tunnel. I recognized that the pain I survived conditioned me to detect when others are living in pain with a smile. My dark place prepared me to be a beacon of light into the lives of others. Once I began my personal work, my emotional health improved, and

my mental capacity to handle life increased far beyond my emotions. There is a place of light, clarity, and visibility waiting for you. I regained clarity when I sought support through therapy, reconnected myself to a church community that is built on loving and building people, and created a health diet for my emotions and mental capacity. I vowed to my mind and soul, that I will not allow anything in life to shift my thoughts back into a healthy space.

Seek Help, Seek Healing

There may be dynamics of your life where you are not comfortable openly sharing with anyone. These places may cause your thoughts to revolve and cycle to memories of your past, restraining you from living and thinking in the moment. Maybe those thoughts shift your behavior, causing you to lash out at others who are undeserving of your anger.

Have you grown accustomed to living with your pain? Is joy short lived and seldom experienced? Do you isolate and bury yourself in sorrow? Are you battling depression, regret, suicidal thoughts, dysregulated moods, and the residue of being abandoned? I challenge you, if you can relate, seek help, seek healing.

Whether you feel more comfortable speaking with a therapist, life coach, a pastor; or all three, seek to become a better you. No matter what obstacles life has thrown in your direction, you deserve to live a happy and healthy life. Although many of you may be wrestling with storms you did not create, you are still responsible to seek peace. Seek help, seek healing, and get your power back. The power to create and attract the life you have been longing for. Take back your power, and live happy all the days of your life. Happiness is not defined by our accomplishments or relationships, but in our divine strength, internal love, and through the tender embrace of peace & tranquility that we cultivate for ourselves from within. Create a sacred space for you to fellowship with yourself. My safe space is sitting on my back patio, listening to my favorite jazz, with candles lit, no thoughts, no feelings, just me, in the space of love and peace that I have designed for myself. Nothing can destroy your spirit ever again, once you get to a place of healing, restoration, and inner peace.

May you seek help, be receptive to healing, and open to live and love!

About Kesha Williams, MS.

Minister Kesha Williams, MS is a devoted wife & mother of three beautiful children. Williams is the CEO/Founder of S.T.E.P. Empowerment Group. She is a minister and strong prophetic voice. She is a graduate of Johnson C. Smith University, where she obtained a Bachelor of Science in Computer Science Information Systems. She also received her Master of Health Services and Administration from Strayer University. In addition, she has more than 15 years of experience working at all levels of mental health counseling, and public education. Williams is a proud member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. & an Honorary Member of Alpha Psi Alpha Sorority,

Inc. Being a survival of suicide attempts & emotional battles, Williams is determined to escort others to emotional & spiritual healing.


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